A.K.A I had blotted out how much the tendon scene and eye gunge make me squirm.
3.5/5 screams.

SPOILERS AHEAD

England is rainy and gloomy at the moment, which means I have plenty of time to re-watch some classics. Currently I have a Top 10 Eli Roth Movies list in the works but I realised it had been so many years since i’d seen some of his films that it would be unfair to numerically judge them without a second watch. First up, then, is Hostel, the film that really got Roth out there – placing him firmly on a pedestal entitled ‘Gore kings’.

The opening to this monster of a film is very visually uncomfortable, set along eerie whistling and tools clanging in some very blatant foregrounding. Then, wow, everything is suddenly very cheerful and raucous. It’s a weird transition and i’m not entirely sure it does what it’s supposed to. One of my first connections in this, strangely way stronger than the first watch, was sympathy for Josh. He comes across as very awkward, smart and manipulated by the more broody, boisterous two. Suddenly it’s all about excess, I can’t even count how many boobs we see in this serious of films (I should count them). I can’t say that this is a feminist film because, well, it’s just blatantly anti-women. Women are sex objects and evil temptresses in this film. I mean, Eli, what the frick? Who hurt you? How can you hate women when you’re married to Lorenza Izzo? I mean I’d never stop being happy if I were married to that beauty. Anyway, back to the point, when you go into this film please just abandon any ideologies of female empowerment because otherwise you’ll probably throw something at the television.

The blues in the colour scheme during the brothel scene are calm and soothing, set against vigorous sex noises. Interesting dichotomy, I think I like it. The audience certainly is lead to hate Ollie from the outset, he’s just so vulgar and the connection is zilch. I know that’s the point as he’s meant to be disposable as the first one to go. It has natural exposition which I appreciate. I felt very uncomfortable during the pimp scene, again my natural feminist instincts make me want to cry about how reified women are in this piece. All talking about ‘pussy’ and ‘just taking them’. Who are you Ollie? A Scandinavian version of Trump?

Moving away from my tangents, maybe we can pretend this film is about re-appropriating the male gaze but, let’s be honest, it ain’t. The mobiles are hilarious and date the whole film which is quite cute and nostalgic. But the drugging scene was bloody annoying, I mean they could so easily have avoided that. Then, without much warning, GORE GORE GORE EVERYWHERE GORE. Honestly, classic Roth – I always forget how extreme his gore is, so unflinchingly close up as well. Then, ah the classic Achilles tendon scene. It still makes me flinch even now. I also love how the film is essentially a psychological thriller up until the cutting of the eye, gungy puss pouring out in the hole where her eye should be – just don’t eat your dinner during this film, and maybe lay off the popcorn – just saying. Also poor Josh, can we just take a moment to remember Josh – the poor bumbling idiot who, ironically (God you’re sick, Eli) gets his lips stitched together. “I always wanted to be a surgeon”. *Shivers*. The German has this sickening power and the more he talks the creepier he becomes. It’s even sadder when you realise the people using Elite Hunting have children, babies, families, lives. Yet they’re chopping off limbs and burning eyes out of their sockets like an abscess. Also, be careful when operating a heavy duty saw, they seem to not be idiot proof.

The ending: I learnt recently that there was an alternate ending to Hostel, in which the last standing man doesn’t slit the German’s throat in the toilet; instead he sees the German getting off the train with his little daughter, It’s then hinted very loudly that our man kidnaps the girl. Which ending do you think is more satisfying? The bloody, eye for an eye (pardon the mirroring in that) murder or the quieter, more psychological torture? Which is the the best revenge? Honestly though, the ending is so gloomy – it leaves you on a sour note, so I suppose – WARNING: Do not watch if you’re feeling sad…or nauseated.