AKA a tepid creature feature rehash that left me bored, annoyed and surprised – surprised that it got an 82% rating on Rotten Tomatoes and a 75% audience score. I was also left with a bitter aftertaste of confusion – how did the same guy behind the fantastic ‘Don’t Breathe’ have made this forgettable frolic into a Florida hurricane.
2/5 Screams
MATURE CONTENT AND SPOILERS AHEAD:
I had high hopes for this summer alligator romp, having loved Sam Raimi’s first delve into the mysterious world of gritty, postmodern psychological horror. But, I was already doubtful about how captivating it was going to prove to be because it seemed to give every single important event in the story line away in the bloody trailer. And I mean everything.
For those of you unfamiliar, this film follows a young woman called Hayley – we learn she is a struggling child swimming prodigy, lazy foreshadowing if you ask me, along with ‘apex predator’, wince – who tries to track down her father in amongst a vicious Florida storm. She tries to find her Dad as her street floods and suddenly alligators have infested their crawl space. The next 87 minutes are just man vs predator. There’s no real intelligence to their survival, no passion seemed to be injected into this project. It came across as if the producers and creators were themselves bored whilst making it.
Side note: Kaya Scloderio really doesn’t suite blonde. The whole film lacks pzazz, creativity and inspiration. There’s no real gore nor jump scares. The CGI is pretty good but the alligators are just hurdles, minor bumps in this pointless story. There’s barely even any characterisation or connection with the father and daughter – they could have done so much with that relationship and tugged at the heartstrings, but they didn’t. They just made them somewhat estranged and aw now they’re all patched up, I mean he had to lose an arm for that but okay.
The attention to detail wasn’t even very good, for example: she would have winced when lowering her very injured leg into the water. And her CPR on her dad at the end is far too fast. Honestly, the scariest part of this film is the horde of spiders crawling – ha, double meaning – all over her face. Nope, nope. My worst nightmare – give me hungry ‘gators any day. The deaths such as Wayne don’t rouse any reaction from the audience because, you guessed it, we’ve seen it all in the trailers. Her arm being bitten? In the trailer. Wayne’s death? In the trailer. Baby gators? You get the picture. Her trapped in the shower with a gator? In the trailer. I could go on.
My lasting impression once the credits rolled to the hilarious ‘See ya’ later alligator’ was that this film was a waste of time, good thing it was short. And…I really have nothing else to say because this film as so bland it was like Rivita crackers trying to be bruschetta. Sorry, Raimi – try better next time. My question for you guys is: would you rather be trapped in a house with a blind, serial killing psycho (all I have to say is turkey baster… yuck) OR trapped in a rapidly flooding house with a group of alligators hunting you? Let me know in the comments below:))
AKA a boring film with a boring premise, boring characters and…nope, f**k this, I’m too bored to even write a witty intro. 0.5/5 Screams.
MATURE CONTENT & SPOILERS AHEAD
Oh, Netflix, what would I do without your constant influx of mediocre-at-best horrors? Hello, all, happy end of Summer (it won’t stop bloody raining here). I’ve been MIA due to my laptop kicking the proverbial bucket, twice just to toy with me. We can take a moment of silence later.
Due to the premature departure of my Lenovo, I had the joy of watching this trashy film on the 2×4 screen of my phone. But, honestly, I’m unsure a high definition seventy inch would make this film any better to experience. It’s lazy, uninventive and poorly conceived. The main thing that deeply just pissed me off about this movie is that it’s been done one hundred trillion times, there is no credibility and nothing new. It’s just yet another identical teen slasher. This begs the question…what the bloody hell is the point? What is the point in rehashing every other sub-par teen scream that doesn’t even bother to make the gore worth staying for. What a waste of money.
Speaking of unoriginal content, within the first three minutes of the first scene we’re hit with our first cliche. Really I should have spent the duration of this film just counting the cliches. ‘It’s not funny’, I feel like I should have tried to play teen scream bingo dialogue, why do these teens always come across so hard done by and thus are made to seem superficial in their emotions. I hate it when all films do this, utilise stereotypes about adolescents in order to somehow diminish their status or intellectual worth. And, of course, the bloody nursery rhyme whistling. At least this scene had the advantage of being so early on that I had hopes it could translate into some meta-commentary which – it didn’t. Or if it did it was used as a poorly constructed excuse for why this film suckssssssssss.
other first impressions: !!! The lighting is so dark, the saturation needs to be hella turned up ladies and gents !!! Boredddd !!! No real gore, no interesting foreshadowing and sluggish, dull tension building !!! Is that the girl from S3 of ‘Thirteen Reason Why?’ … nope, never mind. !!! The young girl looks like Naomi Campbell pre-botulism !!! A very easy watch, if it manages to grab your attention for five minutes then congratulations, you have the attention span of a fruit fly with narcolepsy. !!! The villain’s mask is fairly eerie, I’ll give them that
‘Pop goes the weasel’…lucky bastard, shoot me too. Seriously, writers? Three hetero-normative couples? At least killing off the love interest first was an interesting choice and the final girl being alone on the ride compared to the two couples is relateable on a deep level. It says a fair amount about the film that I got past the halfway mark and knew one out of five of the protagonists’ names. Also, why the heck make this film an 18 certificate? There’s hardly any gore or violence, the ennuculation scene was the only real piece of gore. Surely the only thing to strive for with this sort of B horror flick is to make it bloody, make it stupid and light, make it the kind of gross, ‘Wizard of Gore’ shit that preteens watch on Halloween. But this doesn’t even bother to do that! It somehow manages to completely ignore all the audience brackets it should be marketing to.
Main character: “We’re going to Spain!” ha, ha, haha – Nah, baby, you ain’t. At the worst you’;; becomes a very maroon ice cream sundae and at the best you’re going to need some serious therapy. I do like the hair drying scene though.
Lastly, before I go cry into a pillow that this was an hour and a half of my life I’ll never get back, even the continuity in this film is shite. When the MC is on the toilet and the camera cuts from bird’s eye view to something else, then back again. One frame shows that the toilet paper holder has paper on it, the next shows and empty roll. Boooo. Plus she doesn’t even pee whilst on the toilet, got a UTI, hunny?
AKA a very stupid, yet perversely enjoyable celebration of zombies and Britishness. Although it is basically a shitter version of ‘Shaun of the Dead’. 2.5/5 screams.
SPOILERS AND MATURE CONTENT AHEAD:
Here we are, the last horror comedy I’ll be reviewing for, hopefully, a while. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve enjoyed changing the sort of horrors that I instinctively punt for; but I have predominantly been reminded about why I never had much time for this sub-genre. In my experience, they seem to try to hard yet somehow, paradoxically, be underdeveloped and steer more towards yawn-fests than straight up, shaken not stirred, horrors or comedies.
But that’s by the by. This Matthias Hoene, boisterous zombie flick basically does what it says on the tin and never seems to extend any higher than the material used in the trailer. The laughs certainly don’t seem to surpass then scene involving Richard Briars’ character – oh, how the mighty have fallen – utilising only a slow moving zimmerframe to evade the bloodthirsty undead. Granted, this scene was comedy gold but lost all the magic and spontaneity necessary for such a sketch to really hit the high notes because it was such a focal hook in the trailer. That, an aged Pussy Galore and a spirited Michelle Ryan are the main titbits that grab you from the trailer. That may be one of the best sentences that has ever left my noggin’. Also, Pussy Galore in a zombie movie? Is this something I, unknowingly, desperately needed in my life?
A few tangents later, we’ll get into some tangible points that I actually made notes on. Eventually. I was, ignoring my better instincts, quite excited about this film (I know I say that a lot, for a cynic). Despite the fact that it has been staring at me from the abyss that is Netflix for several years. But I was excited for a gritty, exuberant and unflinchingly British, zombie horror that doesn’t take itself too seriously. Granted, this is exactly what I got – I suppose some points should be handed to it for living up to expectations. The sad thing is that it could have been so much more if it hadn’t been lazy about it, It could easily have ranked up there with ‘Zombieland’ and ‘Shaun of the Dead’. yet it does fall short, primarily because, well, it’s not that funny.
She is pretty badass, you have to admit.
The premise is simple. A group of Cockney runarounds attempt a pretty amateur bank robbery which happens to coincide with the collapse of the East End as it fills up with animated corpses. Corpses that still seem to maintain gang mentalities and football hooliganry… why not? I did appreciate that some of the zombies were little more than disintegrating skeletons. It’s a big pet peeve of mine that so many zombie blockbusters have these plump, human-looking cadavers despite the natural processes that would disrupt their physicality such as starvation, muscle deterioration, lack of blood supply etc. (Although – these are new zombies so i’m unsure how much dystrophy would actually have taken place. Frankly, if we’re going super scientific – if rigor mortis were setting in…how are they moving? And, now my head explodes). Moving swiftly on before I have an aneurysm, these sorts of zombies are less intimidating than the fleshy, quick boys and gals but there is more of a hint of realism about the decomposition which I appreciate. This decaying subgroup hark back to the sort of 80’s cult walkers like in ‘Return of the Living Dead’.
I did really enjoy the gore in this film, it was effective without being corny, overtly grotesque nor laughable. My only problem with it is that, I think, there should have been more focus on the gore. Seeing as the film itself is self-awarely pretty low budget and low quality therefore I think it could have benefited from being more visceral, more intuitive and grittier. One aspect I think that nailed the plucky and mettlesome tone is the dialogue. The writers did a bang up job making the dialogue humorously hyperbolic yet still maintain an interesting cultural integrity that I liked. Screw the idea of swish Brits with RP accents, sipping tea out of bone china cups with extended pinkies! You want to know what England is really like? This! Intense swearing, twats in backwards caps, drunken shouting in pubs that always seem to have at least one old ‘geezer’ sat at the bar, sounding like an incoherent farmer. Oh and an awful lot of ripping the living shit out of each other (pun very much intended). Really, take a few lines for example: ‘You yuppy twat’, ‘let’s fuck up some fuckers’. Welcome to London, ‘fuckers’.
I found a lot of the nuances funnier than the outright mayhem, like how rapidly and calmly they accept that it’s a friggin’ zombie apocalypse. I think it’s take me a few more minutes to adjust. One other stand out scene that was pretty entertaining is how the jaw of the zombie just locks onto the man’s arm like a decapitated pitbull. Strangely, details like this are biologically fairly realistic but then there are bits and bobs that are so far away from any sense of realism that they may as well be the love children of Tinkerbell and Freddie Kruger. For example, unless you’ve somehow slipped into a Kronenberg creature feature, it would never be possible to decapitate somebody with your bare hands.
Final notes: Moral of the story = Guns are great, kids! also…can we just mentioned the fact that the guy drop kicks a baby. You…ugh, don’t see that everyday?
I’ll just leave this here…
Overall, I guess the easiest summary for me to put forward is that it’s a bit of fun. Don’t take it too seriously, don’t expect it to forever change you with some existential reason for being. It’s exactly what you should expect from it – it’s Cockneys and zombies. Bish bash bosh. Now, don’t you want to book your holidays to come see drizzly ole’ England? You don’t? Huh.
AKA a ‘Little’ bit boring. Evil? Really? He’s like a frigging puppy at the end. And…and…and this film got 92% on Rotten Tomatoes?…I just…what? 1.25/5 screams
SPOILERS AND MATURE CONTENT AHEAD:
I had somewhat high hopes for this movie. I remember it being released and the trailer looked promising, but it has sat in my ‘WatchList’ for over two years so, read into that what you will about the premise and the trailer. Honestly, anything was going to be better than the 9 minutes we gave ‘Scary Movie 3’ which was utterly, holy, yawnably (is that a word?) crap. Just pure crap. So anything, anything had to be better….right?
First impressions: the parallels in both the colour schemes and the dialogue are initially pretty interesting. For example; the mother shouting “Time out” and the husband latterly stating “I want a divorce”. Both of these statements have huge impact behind them, yet they’re stoic, to the point, blunt – short sentences with fists behind them. I thought this was clever. Moreover, the colour schemes were very well thought out – visually pleasing. Dark at the start, bright and cheerful afterwards. Everybody’s clothes are plain, unadulterated. There’s something eerie about that, to be honest. Maybe that’s just me. Lucas, throughout the film, is coloured darker than everyone around him. Whether it’s clothing, clouds behind him etc. This sort of breaks when he’s at the fair with the step-dad. Even his eyes seem brighter, thus by comparison the beginning looks far darker than you think.
Seeing
Adam Scott being genuine and not saying something sarcastic and deadpan is
strange, I keep expecting there to be a punchline but that expectation never
really comes because this film, frankly, is not funny.
The
shift in pacing every now and then is effectively jarring.
Quotes that did make me laugh: ~ “I just love the smell of an old nunnery” ~“God never gives you more than you can handle” ~ NO NO NO, I cannot stand this quote – Just, no, I’m sorry if you put this in your film with serious intentions I will hate it. -_- ~ The therapist is hilariously accurate: “I see…Hmm” ~ also the Newton’s cradle is very effective for building the tension. ~ “The way they’re paying teachers these days i’m not surprised”
There
are little meta hints of connections to ‘The Omen’, ‘The Shining’,
‘Poltergeist’ and, I think (please correct me) ‘The DaVinci Code’. You get
points if you can tell me the links between these films and ‘Little Evil’ are.
-The Omen: Lucas’ hair and clothing, the camera focuses sometimes, direct eye
contact.
-The Shining: the two (blonde) twins in blue dresses, the puppet seems to be a
variation on Tony
-Poltergeist: communication through the TV – darkness except from static, focus
on clowns
-The DaVinci Code: The man lacerating himself with a whip ~ self-flagellation
The
worm scene was pretty gross, I’ll give the film that. Question: Why the hell is
there a fully operational bar at a children’s sixth birthday party? I know
kid’s parties suck but jesus, at least hide it in a water bottle of sumthin!
“Want to play?” did make me jump. But the humour throughout the
film is very hit and miss, almost like it was added at the last minute – they
just thought about ripping of somebody else’s story but adding a few shitty
comedy scenes. Also, the wife is sooo dumb.
My
overall impression: boring, so boring I was just waiting for it to end. Eek,
sorry Rotten Tomatoes – we’ll have to agree to disagree!
So,
i’m leaving horror-comedies alone for the time being (after I publish my review
of ‘Cockney’s Vs Zombies’) phew! What binge should I do next? Let me know what
you think in the comments or tweet me! I like a good twittering.
AKA a trashy, horny and dull flat line with all the charm and depth of an egg cup. 1/5 screams
SPOILERS AHEAD AND MATURE CONTENT:
Recently I’ve been on a bit of a horror-comedy binge. For those of you who know me, I know you’ll be shocked by this. I’ve always been very, very, anti-horror-comedies. I think, mainly, for most of the reasons i’ll give in this review. They tend to be generic bloodbaths with the odd dark joke or laugh thrown in. I’ve always hated them, so I decided to conduct an experiment. I watched two in one night and decided to compare them mentally. I was going to do a contrast review between ‘Girls with Balls’ and ‘Cockneys Vs Zombies’ but realised that if I were to concentrate on comparing the two then I might lose the initial spark, the description and intimacy.
As part of this curiosity study, I watched it like I would have done at thirteen. Open-minded, unaware of tropes and cliches and reader reception theory. An English teacher I had for A levels once joked that his marriage ended because English destroys your brain so that you can longer enjoy a book or film without intensely over-analysing it. It’s a tough ole’ life being a writer, what can I say. Anyway, back at the ranch this film is a synthetic, shallow exploration of, well, basically nothing.
Even early on in the narrative you can sense the bland atmosphere. There’s no hook, nothing intriguing or even eye-catching. When a film is so uninteresting that you spend the run time scrolling through Twitter, this is not a compliment to the film. One of my main problems with it is the characterisation. The MC’s are unlikeable, nothingy, hypersexualised and as interesting as cotton wool. How are we meant to care about the deaths, the blood, the chaos when the characters themselves are just dull – cardboard dialogue, attempts to be comedic that just crash and burn as they leave the actors’ mouths. BUT, for Morgan’s sexy dance scene…I can forgive them a little.
Side note: who on earth is the singing narrator? Which of the writers of this travesty decided ‘oh, you know what we really need here – a guy with a guitar who plays no real role in the movie, just pops up now and then to sing country narrations’. Just..what? He does not add anything to the film. He’s not amusing or necessary. The first thing that did actually make me laugh was as blondie tries this odd stripping sequence whilst wearing a falcon helmet. As she begins to show her breasts, the two men begin making out and this subverted expectation actually does work pretty well as a small laughing prompt.
I have an issue with Morgan – I’m sorry but her stabbing the team leader twice with a machete just comes straight out of nowhere. Okay, she’s a bit of a bitch but there’s a pretty large difference between being a dick and being a murderer. Jesus, imagine if they were the same. My dating history would just be a list of straight up psychopaths. But, I digress, two of the most visually interesting sequences are two that, I will admit, did make me think. Firstly, the f***ing chihuahua scene. Warn me, people! I cannot cope with dogs dying…it wasn’t funny, just sad and gross. Why, just why? Also the headless body – what is with that guy? I mean it’s not exactly Mike the chicken here (If you have no idea what i’m talking about, please google ‘Mike the chicken’ he lived for two years without his head. What a legend. “Come at me bitches, I’m not becoming nuggets’.) and he stumbles around seemingly with consciousness, for flipping ages. Ugh.
Returning to chickens, briefly, the only scene that made me jump was when an unexpected chicken appears from the bushes. Now, that’s not exactly a compliment for the movie. As I mentioned, the characters are so underdeveloped and so are the villains. They’re not intimidating, disgusting or even interesting. How can you have any emotional connection, fear or disgust when the villains don’t even utter one word of dialogue. We are completely unaware of their motivations, their flaws, their narcissistic pathologies. All we see are men in dress up with a bit of face paint. Bad, bad writing ya’ll. Seriously, this film was 1 hour 17 minutes of my life I’ll never get back.
Second side note: using your only phone call to scald a cheating boyfriend is just utterly ridiculous.
One thing I realised, this film could’ve been fantastic if it was an exploration of Morgan’s devolution into madness and murderous impulses. If it was a character piece, like ‘American Mary’ or ‘Maniac’ it could have been a great watch. But instead we’re given a monotonous, drab and wearisome hunting flick that neither raises your adrenaline nor holds your attention for more than five minutes.
Overall, this film is a tedious, bland, tired rehash of every teen slasher flick, complete with every weatherworn cliche and kinky stereotype to hook in horny preteens. It has no goals, depth or intelligence. (Sadly, I did write far more than this about this particular flick at about 2am last night but somehow didn’t save 3/4 of it so I’ve tried my best to regurgitate the main points).
“The moral of our story, as you can plainly see, defend yourself from rapists by learning to volley”. Okay…but they weren’t rapists?
I am so done with this film. Ugh. Do yourself a favour and don’t watch it. Just…don’t.
AKA Sharing the book where I write down horror movies I hear about, want to watch or loved. Including ratings on the ones i’ve seen so far.
Yes, yes – I know what you’re thinking. I’m singing it too…
Happy weekend to all ghouls, ghosts and primordial blobs reading this. I hope that, if you’re in Europe, you’re all enjoying this scorching weather! If you can, stop reading this and get yourself to a beach whilst it lasts. Knowing the UK it’ll probably hail tomorrow just to even things out, you never know. This week’s post is going to be all about lists. A few years ago – when my adoration for all things horror began – I started a notebook (I have notebooks for most things, I’m that kind of person) in which I started writing all the horror movies I researched, watched, heard about, loved etc. It started after I began researching lists on YouTube, like The Most Banned and Disturbing Horrors, My favourite horrors, Best French Extremist Films and realised I would always forget the ones I found out about. So I did, in one place. And since then I always write down classics I haven’t yet watched, films by new favourite directors etc. So, here I pass on the proverbial torch. Almost like i’m giving you my little black book of people i’ve dated…although, that actually would contain just as much horror. *Symbols*
Here it is in all it’s understated glory!
Some Housekeeping: -I apologise for how many classics I haven’t seen! -These are in absolutely no particular order -As always, when I say screams I don’t refer to how scary or horrifying they are, I just mean out of 5 stars) -Some of the films in the list are not horror movies. This is because they’ve been banned in various countries, or they contain some very disturbing content or are psychological thrillers with horror tropes. -In some cases, I’ve seen the original/remake of the film on the list but not the one listed and so don’t strike them through -No, these are not all of the horrors i’ve EVER seen.
As there are so many in my book, I haven’t seen them all and I’m not going to rate them all or review them all. I’ll just rate the ones I have seen. So, in no particular order, here we go:
Mother! (2017) ~ 3.5/5 screams
Cannibal Holocaust (1980) ~ 2.5/5 screams
Visitor Q (2001)
A Clockwork Orange (1972) ~ 4.5/5 screams
Rupture (2017) ~ Seeing as I barely remember watching it i’ll say 1.5/5 screams
Pet (2016) ~ I was drunk when I saw this but I remember liking it: 4/5 screams
The Last House on the Left (1972) ~ I’ve only seen the remake of this so far
The Hills Have Eyes (2006) ~ 3.5/5 screams
120 Days of Sodom/Salo (1957) ~ 3/5 screams
Caligula (1979)
Baskin (2015)
Audition (1999) ~ 3.5/5 screams
Funny Games (Remake – 2007) ~ 3.5/5 screams
May (2002)
V/H/S (2012)
August Underground (2001)
Rosemary’s Baby (1968)
31 (2016) ~ 3.5/5 screams
The Void (2017) ~ 3/5 screams
Prevenge (2016)
House of 1,000 Corpses (2003) ~ 3.5/5 screams
Begotten (1990)
Scrapbook (2000) ~ 3.5/5 screams
Slaughtered Vomit Dolls (2006)
Crimson Peak (2015)
The Devil’s Rejects (2005) ~ 2/5 screams
Night of the Living Dead (1968)
Land of the Dead (2005) ~ 1.5/5 screams
Scream (1996) ~ 4/5 screams
The Possession (2012) ~ 3.5/5 screams
Thirst (2009)
I Saw the Devil (2010)
A Tale of Two Sisters (2003)
Ringu (1998)
The Eye (2002)
Martin (1978)
My Little Eye (2002)
Red, White and Blue (2010) ~ 3.5/5 screams
Aftermath (1994)
Ichi the Killer (2001)
Mexico Barbaro (2014)
Carnage Park (2016)
Teeth (2007) ~ 2/5 screams
Hellraiser (1987) ~ 3.5/5 screams
Irreversible (2002)
Tokyo Gore Police (2008)
Guinea Pig Series (1-7) (1985-1989)
Taxidermia (2006)
Eat (2014)
The Final Girls (2015) ~ 3/5 screams
Schramm (1993)
Cat Sick Blues (2015)
Hard Candy (2005) ~ 4/5 screams
Dead Girl (2008) ~ 3/5 screams
Victim (2010)
X Gemu (2013)
Missing (2009)
Inside (2007) ~ 1.5/5 screams
Deliverance (1972)
Antichrist (2009)
Videodrome (1983)
The Hills Have Eyes (1977)
Scanners (1981)
Cujo (1983)
The Omen (1976) ~ 4/5 screams
The Fly (1986) ~ 4/5 screams
From Dusk Til’ Dawn (1996)
Ju-on: The Grudge (2002)
Final Destination (2000) ~ 3/5 screams, for what it is it’s good fun
The Girl Next Door (2007) ~ 3/5 screams, solely for acting and being based on a very horrific true story
Them (aka “ils”) (2005)
Compliance (2012) ~ 3/5 screams
Maniac (2012) ~ 3/5 screams
Trick or Treat (2007)
The Orphanage (2007)
Behind the Mask (2006)
Possession (1981)
Grotesque (2009)
Father’s Day (2012)
Slenderman (2018) ~ 0/5 screams ~ Damn, we finally got a zero ya’ll
The Bunny Game (2011)
Veronica (2018)
The Great Ecstasy of Robert Carmichael (2005)
Hereditary (2018)
The Thing (1982) ~ 3/5 screams
Identity (2003) ~ 2/5 screams
Sleepaway Camp (1983)
Dead Silence (2007)
Slither (2006)
Wes Craven’s New Nightmare (1994) ~ 3/5 screams, solely for the concept
Ouija: Origin of Evil (2016)
Annabelle: Creation (2017)
Dark Water (2003)
Urban Legends (2007-11)
Piranha 3D (2010) ~ 0/5 screams, second one boys and girl, ooooooh
All of the Halloween franchise (1978-2018) ~ still haven’t seen them all.
Anna and the Apocalypse (2018)
The Possession of Hannah Grace (2018)
Pet Semetary (Remake – 2019)
Heretiks (2018)
Apostle (2018) ~ 2/5 screams
Glass (2019) ~ 2/5 screams, if I were rating James McAvoy alone it would be 5/5
The New Mutants (2019)
Invasion of the Body Snatchers (1956)
Don’t Look Now (1973)
In the Mouth of Madness (1994)
Under the Shadow (2016)
Pontypool (2008)
Inside (2007)
Re-animator: Directors Cut (1985)
The Fly (Remake – 2019)
Creature of the Black Lagoon (1954)
It (1990) ~ 1/5 screams
The Orphanage (2007)
The Birds (1963)
Wolf Creek (2005) ~ 4/5 screams
The Howling (1981)
The Howling II (1985)
My Bloody Valentine (2009)
Hatchet Series (2006-2017)
Behind the Mask: The Rise of Leslie Vernon (2006)
Annihilation (2018) ~ 3.5/5 screams
The Endless (2018)
Hellraiser: Judgement (2018)
Lowlife (2018)
Downrange (2018)
Goijiam: Haunted Asylum (2018)
The Toxic Avenger (1984)
City of the Living Dead (1980)
Evil Dead (1981)
The Beyond (1981)
Death Proof (2007)
The Dead (2011)
The Horde (2009) ~ 2/5 screams
Rammbock: Berlin Undead (2010)
Unsane (2018) ~ 3/5 screams
Upgrade (2018)
Ghost Stories (2018) ~ 4/5 screams
The Pack (2013)
Battle Royale (2001)
Society (1989)
Wildling (2018)
Mandy (2018)
Bug (2007)
The Wailing (2016)
Bad Match (2017)
Climax (2018)
Carriers (2009)
Pyewacket (2017)
The Autopsy of Jane Doe (2016) ~ 5/5 screams
Rampo Noir (2005)
Strange Circus (2005)
Gozu (2003)
Shutter (2004)
Three Extremes (2004)
Zombie (1979)
The Wizard of Gore (1970)
Suicide Club (2001)
High Tension (2003)
The Witch (2015)
Happy Death Day (2017) ~ 2/5 screams
Orphan (2009) ~ 3.5/5 screams, it would have been higher but the ending is rubbish, in my opinion.
Cockhammer (2009)
Slasher House (2012)
The Devil’s Music (2008)
Absentia (2011)
Us (2019)
Stalled (1994)
Colin (2008)
The Battery (2012)
I Spit on Your Grave (Remake – 2010) ~ 3/5 screams
I Spit on Your Grave 3 (2015) ~ 2.5/5 screams
All Hallow’s Eve (2013)
Wolf Creek 2 (2014) ~ 3/5 screams
Howl (2015) ~ 3.5/5 screams, I know the special effects are terrible but I just love this film, it’s so very very British.
Splinter (2008) ~ 2.5/5 screams
13 Eerie (2013) ~ 2/5 screams
Jacob’s Ladder (1990)
47 Metres Down (2017) ~ 2/5 screams
A Quiet Place (2018) ~ 3.5/5 screams
Silent House (2011)
We Are What We Are (2013)
Train to Busan (2016) ~ 5/5 screams
We’re Still Here (2015)
Stakeland (2010)
I Spit on Your Grave (1978) ~ 3/5 screams, unpopular opinion: I prefer the remake.
Aliens (1986)
Alien 3 (1992)
Frontiers (2007)
Livid (2011)
Eyes Without a Face (1960)
Terrifier (2016)
The Similiars (2015)
Conjuring Spirit (2015)
Cold Skin (2017)
Murder Party (2007)
Office (2015)
Eremmentari (2017)
The Poughkipsie Tapes (2007)
Lake Mungo (2008)
The Vanishing (2018)
Megan is Missing (2011)
The Last Broadcast (1998)
The Borderlands (2013)
Sightseers (2012)
In Fear (2013)
Wake Wood (2009)
Peeping Tom (1960)
The Hallow (2015)
12 Feet Deep (2017) ~ 2.5/5 screams
Kuso (2017)
ABC’s of Death (2012) ~ 4/5 screams
Jeepers Creepers (2001)
Let the Right one in (2008)
Frailty (2001)
Black Christmas (1974)
Zone of the Dead (2010)
Roadkill (2001)
Patchwork (2017) ~ 3/5 screams, sick and stupid but very enjoyable
The Lesson (2016) ~ 2.5/5 screams
Bodies (2016) ~3/5 screams
Sawney – Flesh of Man (2013)
Cabin Fever 3: Patient Zero (2014) ~ 2.5/5 screams
Hellbound: Hellraiser II (1988) ~ 3/5 screams
Baby Blood (1990)
What We Become (2017)
The Corpse of Anna Fritz (2015) ~ 4.5/5 screams
Wilderness (2006)
Cheap Thrills (2014)
Rabies (2010)
Ibiza Undead (2018) ~ 0/5 screams
Ruin Me (2018)
Wither (2012)
Hounds of Love (2017) ~ 4/5 screams
The Untamed (2016)
The Reef (2010) ~ 2/5 screams
Cabin Fever 2: Spring Fever (2009) ~ 2.5/5 screams
The Gore Gore Girls (1972)
Trouble Every Day (2001)
Mom & Dad (2018)
Ginger Snap (2000)
Noroi: The Curse (2005)
Cold Prey (2006)
The Shrine (2010) ~ 1/5 screams
S0, there we are. My ‘Little Book of Horrors’. All billion of them (253). I’m, currently, on 70/253. How many of this spread have you all seen? Let me know in the comments below and I’ll see you next Friday!
And, in case you’re bored or interested or both – here a a few of the original pages:
AKA where I do a list, a rant, a poem – basically anything goes on Freaky Fridays. And when I get more of you lovely people following my blog you can give suggestions for what YOU’D like on Freaky Fridays.
SPOILERS AHEAD!! AND VERY MATURE CONTENT.
Soooooo, first one. I’ve been thinking about this over the weekend, I decided I wanted to do a list for the first post. Then I spent a while mulling it over, the best villains? No, too ordinary. The best zombie movies? Gosh, not yet, that will take a lot of thinking – like, months. You know I love me some zombie flicks. So, I have decided on *drum roll* the most disturbing horror films of all time. In my opinion of course. I’m not going on gore or blood, i’m going on films that you will never forget, that are forged into your memory and branded onto your nightmares. Here we go.
#10Goodnight Mommy (2014) This is an Austrian horror movie that follows the lives of a mother and her twin boys after she’s undergone cosmetic facial surgery. The premise, leaving the mother’s face always wrapped in gauze and bandages, has a sort of ‘Eyes without a face’ ring to it. But the atmosphere is just unsettling throughout, paranoia seeps in and you become just as perplexed and fearful as the boys and – eventually – the mother. The utter cruelty that comes from a nine year old is a cause for unease as it is, he glues – yes, glues – his mother to the living room floor. He glues her mouth shut. He burns her face. He cuts her lips with scissors. He is just a little psychopath, basically. It turns out his twin was a hallucination all along. The ending is disturbing also, the three of them all embracing with these fixed, strange smiles in a freakin’ cornfield. I just cannot with this film. Something about children being evil is petrifying enough but one that has hallucinations, access to sharp objects and cockroaches (that was a tough and bizarre scene).
#9 Scrapbook (2000) Jeesh I had honestly forgotten about this film until about ten minutes ago. Possibly my preteen brain blocked it out. I remember watching it illegally in about four sessions on the bus to and from school, hiding it towards me so nobody saw the horrific, sadistic sexual violence. This film has a fairly simple presence; girl gets kidnapped, gets repeatedly raped and beaten for several days. But it’s just the production of it is so gritty, so realistic – you could seriously believe that the ordeals were truly happening to this poor girl. It goes beyond just being hit once, it’s constant beating and various ways of raping and he even urinates on her. The only saving grace for this daring film, literally the only saving grace, is that in the end she manages to kill him and put it in his awful scrapbook of murder and blah. But otherwise this film is honestly a test to watch, if you can make it to the end – congratulations! You have no soul. 🙂
#8 The Sacrament (2013) I’ve actually, recently, reviewed this film as I’m making my way through Eli Roth’s repertoire, and it’s a fantastic film – it’s done brilliantly, acted amazingly but damn is it disturbing. Watching a mother slit her own daughter’s throat, hundreds of people drinking the poison and the “painless” death becomes agony and the gasp for breath and beg you to help them. It’s a tense, somewhat slow burn. But it’s just somehow just effective. It barely has any gore or guts but it still manages to be disturbing so, bravo, you sick people.
#7Mother! (2017) No, just – no freaking way with this bloody film. Nope. A baby gets freakin’ torn apart and eaten like a freaking fried chicken. I just can’t with this piece of evilness. Honestly even thinking about this film hurts my heart a little bit. Don’t get be wrong the premise is bizarrely and horribly intriguing and original and the acting is fantastic. But just f**k off Darren Aronofsky!
#6: 120 Days of Sodom or Salo (1957) Why am I doing this list? I’m just mentally revisiting all of this devastation in one hit and it’s a strange mix of fear and just ‘nahhhhhhh’. Anyway, this film. Again it’s just a real test to watch, I barely managed to get through it and I’m good with shiz like this but holy hot guacamole. It’s so realistically done, filmed so naturally. And it’s just so brutal. We’re talking rape, all kinds of rape, forced marriage, murder, made to eat faeces, having to have orgies, being whipped and beaten. This film is scarring, cheers Italy.
#5: Requiem For a Dream(2000) The second Darren Aronofsky appearance on this list. Okay, hands held up, the eagle-eyed amongst you will note that this isn’t a horror movie. Correct. If i’m admitting to the struggle of the mid-numbers for this category, I had to steer slightly off of course for this number slot. It dawned on me that I had a fairly clear image of the first five films and the top two but the middle numbers stumped me for a week or so. Apologies, but I had to put this one in here. For those of you who haven’t witnessed this sharp, muddy and honest portrayal of the rock bottoms of various drug addictions, crazed utopias that devolve into this sickening, beautifully eerie spiral. Four people, four interwoven story lines all set into motion by the haunting piano piece of the title. I was about fourteen when I first saw this film and, a while before discovering my particular penchant for violent horrors, I remember finishing it with this atmosphere of unease and discomfort thick around me. I’ve been planning in rewatching it lately as an adult, to see if I find it just as viscerally unsettling as I did then. Personally I think this movie is a piece of art, it is just phenomenally produced, shot and acted and it doesn’t shy away from the gritty subject matter nor does it romanticise addiction, quite the opposite in fact. For those of you nineteen years late to the game you may not understand what I mean by the ending! For those of you who do, there’s nothing more to say. And, despite it being more of a psychological drama than anything else, it does maintain the mood and craftsmanship of any great psychological horror – it’s minute detail, its shocking visuals, its uncomfortable dirty realism all combine into this murky, itchy disturbance. Personally this film effects me more, emotionally and pictorially, than any horror. It doesn’t rely, until the end anyhow, on massively shocking visuals or gore, it’s more about in-articulation, losing your humanity, losing everything to this living inferno dreamscape.
#4:The Human Centipede2 (Full Sequence) (2011) I’m unsure how old I was when I first endured this film. I remember being fairly nonplussed with the first instalment in this body-horror franchise. I thought it was over-hyped and sometimes just a bit dull. In fact the only scene that stuck with me, and still makes my stomach churn a little, was the infected staples image. On the flip side of the coin, the second movie was too much. Strikingly meta, albeit over-relying on monochrome camerawork – be honest with us, Tom Six, was this just so you could save some dosh on fake blood and use chocolate sauce instead? – it follows a repugnant man, Martin, in the same world as us, a world in which the first film exists, who obsessively studies it. Even more meta is the inclusion of Ashlynn Yennie, who played Jenny in the first film, playing herself. The main difference between this fella and the sick b***ard from the first time round is that this one has zero medical training and so his – much larger scale – centipede is haphazardly constructed and even involves a pregnant woman which, to be fair, was a step too far. Pregnant women and infants do not belong in these films (but, then again, wait until #2 on this list) can we just universally agree on that? That put aside, there are certain scenes in this movie that really are sickening for no other reason than to get people talking – sexual and physical molestation of children, masturbating with sandpaper, the severing of the knee ligaments, removal of teeth with a hammer, anal exsanguination, removal of tongues with pliers, laxatives (‘nuf said), barbed-wire-wrapped-rape (a sentence I never thought i’d write), a newborn’s skull being crushed by an accelerator pedal and a live centipede being inserted into Martin’s anus. Blimey, what a list.
#3/Honorary Mention: Cannibal Holocaust (1980) Okay, this 1980 Italian found-footage film didn’t make it onto the actual list because, unpopular opinion, I don’t actually find it disturbing. I’m not sure why, maybe as it’s dated now? Who knows. But I had to at least mention it because it involves the actual slaughter of animals such as turtles, monkeys and fish. I find that more disturbing than any on here! DO NOT MESS WITH THE ANIMALS!!!
#2: A Serbian Film (2010) This is one of those exploitation horrors that if you’ve never actually watched it, it’s likely that you’ve heard about it. It follows an ageing porn star who becomes embroiled in one last hurrah, as it were, but what begins as a last assignment in the adult industry soon becomes a grotesque extended metaphor for life in Serbia – that the country ‘screws its inhabitants from the moment they’re born’. Soon this flick becomes all about the shock factor, it’s filthy and bloody and just perverse. It’s no coincidence that I always see this film at the top of most banned and disturbing horrors lists. I can’t remember exactly how many countries banned this one for, I may be wrong in thinking it’s over 10? Correct me in the comments if you know. Anyway, this film includes necrophilia, incest, newborn-rape (you don’t entirely see it, thank God!) and lots of just…uncomfortable feelings. It’s not even that it necessarily makes that much of an impression on first or second watch, it’s only when you start questioning the whole morality of it that it starts to f**k with you head.
#1: Martyrs (2008)
Here we are, number one. The big uno. This French horror film is many things:
unnerving, grotesque, haunting, scaring, banned and has even been associated
with being responsible for the New Wave French Extremity movement. The plot
follows a young girl escaping from a year’s worth of torture and abuse, then
sees this young girl’s, Lucie’s, hallucinations of a ghost figure. Years later
she arrives to a family’s house as a young adult and shoots them, believing
them responsible for her miserable childhood. Anna is there (her childhood
friend) and Lucie subsequently kills herself. Anna finds a strange cellar under
the basement with a woman, Sarah, who is emaciated and translucent, with metal
bolted to her temples – her eyes in permanent darkness. This proves Lucie was
right about the family and Sarah was the ghost-like, psychological
representation of her guilt. Anna sets Sarah free, after pretty hard to bare
attempts at removing the metal. plates. Then people arrive, gunning down Sarah
(cry – seriously this film is so messed up) and kidnapping Anna (Like, what the
frick did Anna do?). It’s revealed that these people are a sort of academic,
philosophical cult who believe that by inflicting the most extreme systems of
agony and torture on the human body a person could “transcend” to a
utopia-esc post-heaven. They flay Anna alive, again incredibly disturbing to
watch, and she survives, in a euphoric type state. The leader of the
organisation, Mademoiselle, eagerly returns to hear of Anna’s revelations. Anna
whispers in her ear. She proceeds to kill herself. The film ends on Anna’s face
in a catatonic state. It had really mixed critical response, unsurprisingly. I
just remember feeling so violated afterwards. The physical horror of it all is
just too much.
A.K.A I had blotted out how much the tendon scene and eye gunge make me squirm. 3.5/5 screams.
SPOILERS AHEAD
England is rainy and gloomy at the moment, which means I have plenty of time to re-watch some classics. Currently I have a Top 10 Eli Roth Movies list in the works but I realised it had been so many years since i’d seen some of his films that it would be unfair to numerically judge them without a second watch. First up, then, is Hostel, the film that really got Roth out there – placing him firmly on a pedestal entitled ‘Gore kings’.
The opening to this monster of a film is very visually uncomfortable, set along eerie whistling and tools clanging in some very blatant foregrounding. Then, wow, everything is suddenly very cheerful and raucous. It’s a weird transition and i’m not entirely sure it does what it’s supposed to. One of my first connections in this, strangely way stronger than the first watch, was sympathy for Josh. He comes across as very awkward, smart and manipulated by the more broody, boisterous two. Suddenly it’s all about excess, I can’t even count how many boobs we see in this serious of films (I should count them). I can’t say that this is a feminist film because, well, it’s just blatantly anti-women. Women are sex objects and evil temptresses in this film. I mean, Eli, what the frick? Who hurt you? How can you hate women when you’re married to Lorenza Izzo? I mean I’d never stop being happy if I were married to that beauty. Anyway, back to the point, when you go into this film please just abandon any ideologies of female empowerment because otherwise you’ll probably throw something at the television.
The blues in the colour scheme during the brothel scene are calm and soothing, set against vigorous sex noises. Interesting dichotomy, I think I like it. The audience certainly is lead to hate Ollie from the outset, he’s just so vulgar and the connection is zilch. I know that’s the point as he’s meant to be disposable as the first one to go. It has natural exposition which I appreciate. I felt very uncomfortable during the pimp scene, again my natural feminist instincts make me want to cry about how reified women are in this piece. All talking about ‘pussy’ and ‘just taking them’. Who are you Ollie? A Scandinavian version of Trump?
Moving away from my tangents, maybe we can pretend this film is about re-appropriating the male gaze but, let’s be honest, it ain’t. The mobiles are hilarious and date the whole film which is quite cute and nostalgic. But the drugging scene was bloody annoying, I mean they could so easily have avoided that. Then, without much warning, GORE GORE GORE EVERYWHERE GORE. Honestly, classic Roth – I always forget how extreme his gore is, so unflinchingly close up as well. Then, ah the classic Achilles tendon scene. It still makes me flinch even now. I also love how the film is essentially a psychological thriller up until the cutting of the eye, gungy puss pouring out in the hole where her eye should be – just don’t eat your dinner during this film, and maybe lay off the popcorn – just saying. Also poor Josh, can we just take a moment to remember Josh – the poor bumbling idiot who, ironically (God you’re sick, Eli) gets his lips stitched together. “I always wanted to be a surgeon”. *Shivers*. The German has this sickening power and the more he talks the creepier he becomes. It’s even sadder when you realise the people using Elite Hunting have children, babies, families, lives. Yet they’re chopping off limbs and burning eyes out of their sockets like an abscess. Also, be careful when operating a heavy duty saw, they seem to not be idiot proof.
The ending: I learnt recently that there was an alternate ending to Hostel, in which the last standing man doesn’t slit the German’s throat in the toilet; instead he sees the German getting off the train with his little daughter, It’s then hinted very loudly that our man kidnaps the girl. Which ending do you think is more satisfying? The bloody, eye for an eye (pardon the mirroring in that) murder or the quieter, more psychological torture? Which is the the best revenge? Honestly though, the ending is so gloomy – it leaves you on a sour note, so I suppose – WARNING: Do not watch if you’re feeling sad…or nauseated.
AKA the first horror film in years that had me on the brink of tears 4/5 screams
SPOILERS AHEAD
Where to even begin with this movie? I mean, blimey…just…damn. I finished it feeling like i’d just witnessed something horrifying and this is a rare feeling for me as I watch so many horrors and disturbing blah that I’m more or less entirely desensitised to gore and guts. So it says great things that this film managed to actually make me feel shocked, tense and very bleary eyed. I also think something so important about this movie is that it doesn’t over-rely on blood and violence, the actual horror of it is the eerie calmness of the destruction.
First of all, I had no idea that it was based on the 1978 Jonestown massacre until after watching, this fact makes it just that much more emotional and painful. But that aside, this film is brilliantly executed. I have to say that found footage horrors are my most hated type of movie – besides, perhaps, teen screams – and yet this film utilised the genre with such elegance. It really adds to the intimacy of the story which, when the mass suicide begins, means you are utterly embroiled in it. Children sipping cyanide from party cups, babies being given poison in syringes, people dying oh so slowly, foaming at the mouth like animals. The two particular moments that truly got to me were Josh comforting Andre as he convulses and begs not to die alone in a close-up, shaky cam. The second was in the cabin, Josh hides as Savannah’s mother rocks her mute child and slits her throat – you hear it too, not a sound you’ll forget in a hurry – whilst telling her to ‘just sleep baby’. Bloody hell, I was on the verge of tears. The raw, gritty camera work and stellar acting makes it just so real. I felt so emotionally connected to the characters that it was purely heart breaking. The writing is just so unafraid, it goes places most mainstream pictures wouldn’t dare to breach – a very bold and effective decision.
Honestly, I can’t quite decide whether I’m glad I watched this or not. I’ve left it with a feeling of unease, which I suppose demonstrates the power of it. Personally, this is now going to be in my top 5 Eli Roth films (even if he was only the producer in this one). Speaking of Roth, watch out for my Top 10 Eli Roth Movies list which i’ll be publishing soon.
Looking through the criticisms of this dense, hair-raising film I notice that a fair few critics thought it was too slow. I have to disagree with this, I have a terrible concentration span and so usually avoid slow-burners but this kept my attention throughout, it instilled such a tense and claustrophobic atmosphere which made it hard to not be all-encompassed by its mood.
Final thoughts: it’s definitely worth a watch but you’ve been warned that it really is disturbing, not visually but emotionally. And, unlike me, don’t make the mistake of then researching the Jonestown massacre and listen to the original, real ‘death tape’. Really, just don’t. Curiosity killed my Wednesday instead of the cat. But both dramatically, thematically and poignantly this is a great watch. Ti West, Eli Roth and the entire production team deserve a teary pat on the back.
Really I only have myself to blame for this film being my first review as I went off of YouTube comments for the recommendation *sighs*. Basically the trailer for this 2010 Canadian horror is just as bad as the film itself, that should have been my first hint.
The trailer aside, I realised I was going in with zero expectations and, as I research horror most days purely for pleasure, this is rare for me – I usually know the ending or the spec’s or subjective reviews at the very least. I initially noticed how the tone seemed to shift from medieval to modern within a few seconds which was a little disconcerting but I let it slide, instead pondering on whether the low budget camerawork was intentional thematically or not…turns out it really was made on a shoestring so at least the editors managed to leave some doubt about that. Secondly, the introductory dialogue is beyond lazy; the so called ‘row’ between the couple, Carmen and Marcus, seems only to exist as a vehicle for what limited exposition there is and this dusts the conversations with an unrealistic cadence. So, not off to the best of starts with our protagonists. This skirmish is essentially trying to conveyor-belt-rush us into the first jump-scare which I, sadly, admit really did get me so, maybe, it was well designed but if it was it was the only one. The others, though few and far between, also felt rushed and like a second thought – not to mention they were cheesy and hammy without even attempting to have some meta-self-conscious edge or something else that indie-horrors like to promote.
The first scene that I started making any meaningful notes on was the car journey leading up to the fog scene. I enjoyed that the sub-genre of the film kept you guessing in the beginning – I found my mind wondering whether we were dealing with a Blair Witch type of suspense piece or a low budget ‘Hostel’ knock-off or even a follow on to King’s ‘The Mist’. After Carmen and Sarah come tet-a-tet with the worst garden gnome on the planet (can we please also remind Marcus how important the double tap is?) they all get kidnapped fairly successfully. Next we have the “I’m so sorry” scene which, oddly, did actually remind me of Heather’s BWP monologue I randomly used to audition for a theatre group once. In this flick I do think it came out of nowhere and far too early on, not to mention barely heartbeats before Sarah becomes a human pinboard message. I did like her bloodletting scene even if the gore seemed so out of place all of a sudden, purely because of the visuals – the white nightgowns against the deep reds and pales of skin. The gruesome images juxtaposed against the idyllic, if eerie, aesthetic of the outside village. The stripping scene was done well too, actually, it was gritty enough to not be overdone. However, side note: what the actual f**k were those Doctor Who revival-esc monsters with some serious gum disease? The prosthetic work almost had a ‘Hellraiser’, 80’s cult feel to it which did, surprisingly, fit perfectly with the cringey atmosphere.
One of my main issues with this film is that there’s no character development and they’re scarcely even particularly likeable. Nothing is done to make the audience connect with the three leads and the acting is mediocre at best. So this means that you don’t actually care whether they get sacrificed or enucleated which is a mahoosive issue when you think about impact. Moreover it means that the status of the movie itself never rises any higher than the low-budget, half-hearted slasher but without the adrenaline or a ‘Hostel’ rip-off but without the grotesque indulgence of the torture-porn. Back to the one-dimensional characters for a sec, they don’t even seem to have common sense. I felt myself rolling my eyes consistently throughout, “Oh, we should go!” no shit Sherlock! The decisions in this flick are just stupid, if Carmen had listened to Marcus and not followed Lydia – the suspiciously innocent child – then the whole disaster could of being avoided.
Furthermore, I accept that Carmen is meant to be a strong career gal but that is all she is, which kind of endorses the idea that these independent representations of women on screen means they either have to be annoying or hot. Or both. Seriously, i’m not going too deep into this – these characters, besides maybe Marcus, are dumb as paper.
Finally, my last realisation was that this film just could not make it’s bloody mind up about what it wanted to be. Moving from the strange hallucinations of the late-mid-section to the possession scene you suddenly feel like you’re watching ‘The Evil Dead’. So I reckon it’d be more enjoyable for non-horror-buffs because I was just half expecting the cenobites to rock up and half expecting Ash to follow with his chainsaw hand. Then the end comes and BOOM, tubular bells eat your heart out – now it’s ‘The Exorcist’. Seriously, what was this film trying to even be?
Last thoughts: I, sadistically, liked the fact that they weren’t afraid to kill of the kid. So, it may have been a terrible film but it had some guts…get it…*drum beat*. Otherwise it felt dull, uninspired, forgettable and nobody involved – the creation staff or actors – seemed to actually have given a crap about it.
Don't Scream 